Stage 3: Passage

What It Is

The numbness and shock of the event have worn off and are being replaced with a sense of awakening. This is adaptation. It’s a time when you let go of old ideas about your life and explore new ones, inching ever closer to your New Normal. This doesn’t happen overnight, though, making Passage the longest stage of transition.

Most Common Themes

  • Passage takes years, and that can be exhausting. Mental and/or physical fatigue are common.
  • Work performance and personal relationships can suffer as a result of the timeline.
  • Time can cause a pressure to move on. This pressure could be internal or from others.
  • Emotions are at their peak.
  • Uncertainty around identity. Who you were has changed, and you probably notice that you are becoming someone new. You aren’t that person yet, and that’s fine.
  • Unsolicited advice is everywhere, however, people who have been on the road you are traveling can be invaluable guides.

What You Can Do

During Passage, perhaps your most important work is to be mindful.

  • Mindful of what you are going through.
  • Mindful of how you really feel about it.
  • Mindful of how and why you respond or react to the past and the present as you do.
  • Mindful of possibilities as you move toward the future.