Stage 4: New Normal

What It Is

You are living your new life and you have fully integrated the event that began your transition. You have arrived at the best possible outcome, and accepted the event as part of your personal narrative. You talk about it in the past tense.

Most Common Themes

Things that were difficult in Passage are now easier.

They include:

  • your capacity for composure and collaboration;
  • your ability to be present;
  • your self-confidence;
  • your comfort with both short-term and long-term planning; and
  • your success with replacing bad habits with good ones.

Despite being more settled, you’re still interested in exploring new routines and possibilities.

What You Can Do

Your goal is to harness the renewed energy and confidence you feel and use it to thrive in the new life you’ve built.

Tips for optimizing your New Normal include:

  • Consider other people and respect their communication styles. Especially if they’re sharing in your life change.
  • Be clear with yourself and others about your expectations. Communicate those expectations, especially as they shift.
  • Make lists of the things, people, and places that ground you and support you, and that restore your capacity to see what matters most in your life. Review those lists to remind yourself of your resources.
  • Be open to exploring and re-imagining; possibilities often emerge as time goes on.